Looking forward to the weekend!

I am so excited! Mike is taking the girls to Emporia and I get the entire weekend for myself. Well, I have to work 8 hours on Sunday, but I get Friday night and all of Saturday! I haven't been keeping this up the way I envisioned myself doing, but I just can't believe how crazy life has been. On the whole, and despite the stress, Mike and I are getting along better than ever. I know he definately cherishes his time with the girls more.

He should be here in an hour or so, he has an interview tomorrow morning. Fingers crossed he gets an offer on this one or the one he had last week. My job is just too good to leave.

Speakin of my job, it has been a sad week. Two members of my training class were let go. And they were the two closest to me. The responsible professional side of me understands the reasons they were fired, but the friend side of me is very sad. I know I will miss them. Although I know it is a GREAT company to work for and their firing was their own doing, it does make me extra alert to not screw up!

I have the greatest supervisor ever and he has talked with me several times about how impressed he is at how well I am doing. He is so wonderful to work for. Actually, he won't let us say we work for him. He subscribes to the old Ewing Kauffman philosophy of "With, For, To: You work with me, not for me, you just happen to report to me." I love that. He makes the work environment so comfortable. He is has three kids, the youngest being only three months old, and is so understanding about me being a mom and having mom things to do. He's very sympathetic to my quasi-single mom status. I can't say enough how I am really enjoying my job.

Emma refused a pull up today, put her own panties on, and was accident free! My dad is doing a great job taking care of the girls. I just wish Paige would mind him a little more.

That's all for now. I hope in my weekend of leisure I can come post again.

Slowly Seeing Some Progress

Our credit card balances are getting smaller! This makes me very happy!

Headaches

This is the first day in my four weeks at my new job that I haven't wanted to be here. Ugh, my head is killing me.

So, this was our second weekend going back to Emporia for the weekend and again it was a great time. Though, as I looked back today, it saddened me to realize that it took moving 90 miles apart for us to spend quality family time together. And though hindsight is 20/20, I do wish we could go back and not take all of our time together for granted. It took this move for Mike to realize what he needed to do to make me happy and keep me sane. The hardest part of being together is getting the girls to sleep in their beds; they are so happy that we are together as a family, they don't want to leave our sides.

Have I ever mentioned how funny Paige can be? Driving back to my parents' last night, Paige was sad to be leaving Mike. I pointed out how cool it is that we have two houses, kind of like really rich people. She asked what does rich mean? I told her it is people that have lots of money, to which she replied we aren't rich are we? I said we aren't rich, but we have enough money. I made it a point to let her know that we aren't poor, either. She says, "Mom, I know we aren't poor. We are what I call cheap."


That girl cracks me up!!!

What a week and it's ended sadly

We survived our first week of being apart. Paige took things the hardest when Mike left for home on Sunday; it was perhaps the most heartbreaking thing I've ever experienced in my life. I also think that Mike was more saddened than he thought he would be. I only felt saddness that my dumb luck is what caused so much pain for everyone.

That being said, the week went very well. Paige and Emma are doing fine with my dad and although it wears him out, I think he's enjoying it. We did start a blog with the content this was intended to have, www.goodnightfromolathe.blogspot.com, where I post pictures of the girls' day and let Mike know a bit about what went on. Mike looks at it before we call him and he has a good point of reference to make conversation with the girls.

Paige had her first day of school on Friday, and Mike was able to take the day off to be there for it. It was an incredibly bittersweet moment to leave my baby at school. I can't believe that five years has gone by. She had a great day and I am confident she will really enjoy school.

As for my job, I completely love it. I can't speak as to the actual content of my specific position, but the atmosphere of the company is wonderful and the potential there is limitless. I have my big adjuster's test on Monday morning. Of course I feel some trepidation, but with it being multiple choice, I am not too worried.

The biggest problem in all of this, for me, is that I really feel like I'm losing myself. I don't really have anytime for myself and I don't feel at home either at my parents' or now, this weekend, in my own home. I hope that once this weekly routine is established, we will all get used to it.

In fact, it is a sad day for me. I've had to say good bye to something that over the past 6 months or so has been so very dear to me. My message board has been so important to me, as have so many of the women on it, but after today, I just don't know if it will ever be the same for me. It is hard to pinpoint what pushed me over the edge to make the decision, but I'm sad, even though I know that I can't participate like I've been able to in the past. Funny how much of a difference a week can make. Funny how much of a difference one comment can make.

I'm back!

Wow, it's been 11 days since I've posted and a lot has been going on at the Nobles' household. We went on our mini-vacation to KC last Sunday through Wednesday. Mike and I celebrated our anniversary on Sunday night, we took the girls to Oceans of Fun on Monday and Worlds of Fun on Tuesday. Pawpaw came with us on Tuesday and the girls had a great time.

Before heading out to the amusement park on Tuesday, I went in to a walk in clinic because my coughing was getting worse by the day and I generally felt miserable. Turns out I have bronchitis. I got 4 perscriptions, but here I am almost a week later and am not feeling much better. Paige is also now coughing, so I think a trip to the doctor is in order for us today.

Many of the stresses in our marriage that I have been feeling lately have been addressed, and so far I have really noticed a difference in Mike's interactions with me and the girls. Frankly, I told him that if he continued with the attitude he's had lately, I couldn't commit to a future with him. It is so sad that things had to go that far, but I think he definately needed to know how he has been making us feel.

Tonight, the girls and I are heading back to KC for the night so I can enroll Paige for school first thing in the morning; she doesn't want to miss gymnastics again this week. I just hope I don't have pneumonia and end up in the hospital instead!

So much to do

Gosh, the time is going by way too quickly. I have got to start getting things together for the move. I am so glad that I don't have to pack up the whole house, though. I think the best thing to do is to take enough clothes up for the week, plus a few extras, and over the weekend do laundry and pack new outfits. I can't imagine taking all of my and the girls' clothes up to stuff into the tiny closets at my parents'.

I need to get Paige's documents together for enrollment. That is probably my number one thing that has to be done and it is the easiest. I just need to remember where her birth certificate and first immunization record is. I think I'll go do that as soon as I get done writing here.

I wish I could write one sentence without being interrupted.

I need to get all of my personal stuff sorted through. I need to get the mail forwarded to my parents. I don't know how I'm going to sell this one to Mike, though. The cable needs to be downgraded when we leave, but that requires taking the boxes in and so it has to wait.

Okay, so I took a few minutes too look and though I found her birth certificate with no problem,, I can't find her initial immunization record from New Mexico. Uggh, I totally cannot believe I have no idea where this is. It is so important and I will be screwed if I can't find any record anywhere.

30 minutes later: I found the immunization record. It's amazing what you can find when you clean out clutter. I have so much paper clutter it's disgusting. I think that is what my day off will consist of for the most part. It is not something I want to spend a day doing, but it has to be done. I'll set a goal of going through 3 boxes. That should yield enough trash to fill three garbage bags. Yes, three boxes tomorrow and one box every day after.

Good plan, I'll be well on my way to organization and being able to leave with some peace of mind.

A day lost and lots of guilt

Yesterday was spent sick in bed with a headache and nausea. The bulk of childcare was left in the hands of my 5 year old. I'm a great mom, huh? But, there was nothing I could do about it. No one to come and help. I soldiered on, taking Paige to her beloved gymnastics, so that is one thing I didn't fail at. They were fed and I kept my ears open for trouble.

Paige, bless her heart, was such a big girl yesterday. She could see that I was truly in pain and she kept Emma entertained for over two hours yesterday morning. She got herself dressed and even chose Emma's clothes and tried to get her dressed. She made sure lunch didn't end up all over the living room and she played quietly during Emma's nap. I couldn't be more proud of her or more grateful to her oh so grown up behavior. What an awesome kid!

Mike, on the other hand, was his typical asshole self when I'm sick. He came home and it was all about him. He had some paperwork to do, he was hungry, he was tired. No childcare help from him, no housework help from him. He went to bed at 8:30 and I stayed up past 10 getting the girls to bed. I'd be mad, but this is what I've come to expect. I'd only be surprised if he treated me with some sort of empathy. He went to bed without telling anyone goodnight until I said something about how rude it was.

With each passing day, I am more and more ready for the physical separation. My children will get more attention from my parents than from their father and that is so sad. I find that I am less and less filled with the sadness I initially felt about leaving him and more so filled with relief that I will finally have some other adults I can depend on.