What a week and it's ended sadly

We survived our first week of being apart. Paige took things the hardest when Mike left for home on Sunday; it was perhaps the most heartbreaking thing I've ever experienced in my life. I also think that Mike was more saddened than he thought he would be. I only felt saddness that my dumb luck is what caused so much pain for everyone.

That being said, the week went very well. Paige and Emma are doing fine with my dad and although it wears him out, I think he's enjoying it. We did start a blog with the content this was intended to have, www.goodnightfromolathe.blogspot.com, where I post pictures of the girls' day and let Mike know a bit about what went on. Mike looks at it before we call him and he has a good point of reference to make conversation with the girls.

Paige had her first day of school on Friday, and Mike was able to take the day off to be there for it. It was an incredibly bittersweet moment to leave my baby at school. I can't believe that five years has gone by. She had a great day and I am confident she will really enjoy school.

As for my job, I completely love it. I can't speak as to the actual content of my specific position, but the atmosphere of the company is wonderful and the potential there is limitless. I have my big adjuster's test on Monday morning. Of course I feel some trepidation, but with it being multiple choice, I am not too worried.

The biggest problem in all of this, for me, is that I really feel like I'm losing myself. I don't really have anytime for myself and I don't feel at home either at my parents' or now, this weekend, in my own home. I hope that once this weekly routine is established, we will all get used to it.

In fact, it is a sad day for me. I've had to say good bye to something that over the past 6 months or so has been so very dear to me. My message board has been so important to me, as have so many of the women on it, but after today, I just don't know if it will ever be the same for me. It is hard to pinpoint what pushed me over the edge to make the decision, but I'm sad, even though I know that I can't participate like I've been able to in the past. Funny how much of a difference a week can make. Funny how much of a difference one comment can make.